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5 Ways to Make Your Teenager Indifferent to God

Here is another blog that I ran across recently, some great thoughts for parents that want their kids to excel in their relationship with God. Check out the original post here.

GUEST POST: 5 Ways to Make Your Teenager Indifferent to God

In youth ministry, one of the hardest things I’ve had to experience is leading students into a growing relationship with Jesus, while their parents are doing the opposite.  In a lot of cases, the parent wants the best for his/her teenager.  It’s just that their definition of “best” might not match up with mine.  There are some hard-and-fast rules to engage if you don’t want your teenager to care about God.  The following are just a few.

1. Make sure their extra-curricular activities are priority over church. You should always make sure that their scholarships are intact, and that they don’t get kicked off the team.  That’s definitely more important than their relationship with Christ and eternity, for that matter.

2. When your teenager screws up, ground them from church. Of course! If they don’t care that you take away their TV, cell phone, or friend time, hit them where it hurts.  Take away church.  Yeah – that oughta do it.

3. Don’t call them out when they need guidance. Always let them make their own mistakes.  And if they’re about to do something super-destructive, it’s probably best that they learn on their own.  Because learning it the hard way is always the necessary path, right?

4. Talk negatively about your church staff around your teenager. If your pastor messes up, make sure that you call a family meeting to roast him.  You should definitely let your teenager know that people can’t be trusted, especially incompetent church leaders.  Your teenager needs to know that trusting church leaders isn’t smart!  If they don’t trust church leaders, there’s a small chance they’ll ever accept God’s direction in their life.  And that’s the safer way to live.

5. Don’t model real faith. At the end of the day, the last thing you want to do, if you want your teenager to ignore God’s voice, is to follow it yourself.

Please know my heart on this issue.  We parents need to be leading our families to Jesus every chance we get.  Maybe it’s time to take inventory of who or what we’re actually leading our families to.

After all, actions speak louder than words.

A Must Read for Parents!

A few weeks ago I read a blog post by Tim Stevens from Granger Community Church in Indiana.  This is some great information for parents...you can check out the original post here or read below.

IF YOU DON’T PROTECT YOUR KIDS IN THE DIGITAL WORLD–WHO WILL?

Our kids are growing up in a different world. Here are a few things we do (or have done) to keep our kids safe…

• Internet filtering – Curiosity killed the cat and can do great harm to kids as well. We have used different products to filter and monitor our kids internet activities. Monitoring tells us where they are going. Filtering keeps bad stuff away that could hurt them. Currently we are using Family Safety which is a free add-on product that we have loaded on every computer they access. Not only can we restrict sites based on our values–we can also monitor what sites are capturing their attention. And we can change (ease) these restrictions as they get older.

• Computer game time — on a school day, they get 30  minutes of electronic game time (whether computer, Wii, Xbox, iPod, whatever). On non-school days, they get an hour. This limit forces them (mostly the boys) to find other things to do. They all love reading, and I think that is partially because we haven’t allowed their time to be monopolized by staring at a screen.

• Cell Phone privileges - we didn’t get cell phones for our teens until they were in 9th grade. Why then? Because that is when it became inconvenient to us that they didn’t have one. It was never really a safety issue–in middle school there was always a friend nearby who had a phone they could borrow.

• Cell Phone Limits – this is about helping them stay in the present and not always being pulled away into other conversations. Our cell phones have unlimited text messaging, but we actually pay an additional fee (called “Smart Limits” by AT&T) to limit the number of text messages and the time of day it works for phone calls (other than to us, of course).

• iPod Touch restrictions – our 7th grade son saved his money for a long time until he was able to buy an iPod Touch. The first thing I did was took it, enabled the “restrictions” feature, locked it out from Safari (internet surfing) and YouTube, set a password, and gave it back to him. I don’t need my adolescent son walking around with a pocket full of temptation.

• Email monitoring - when they first got email privileges, I restricted their incoming messages to an approved list to protect them from child predators. After awhile, I lifted that restriction but continued to monitor all their incoming and outgoing email. As the teens are getting older and more responsible, I’ve gone from 1) Monitor everything, to 2) Monitor occasionally, to 3) “You know I can monitor it if I want,” to 4) I trust you.

• Facebook monitoring – similar to email, we monitored all of their Facebook activity when they first began using it (around 8th grade). Then it was “as needed.”

• TV time — the biggest blessing to parents has been the invention of the DVR (or TIVO). Our kids don’t channel surf. There is no reason. We just keep the DVR stacked with shows that won’t hurt their hearts (which, of course, changes as they age). They get a limited time to watch, and when they do they can skip commercials (which saves time AND limits the consumer mentality from taking over). Parents: Think of a DVR as a parenting tool, not a tech gadget.

I haven’t even talked about the content of movies or shows, but the bottom line: You are the parent. If you don’t protect them from the digital world, who will? At the same time, if you don’t prepare them to live in a digital world without your oversight, who will? I am constantly doing the countdown: I know I have 17 months left to prepare Heather to totally stand on her own in the world. So we are constantly reevaluating our limits and lifting them as she is ready. It’s fun to go to the kids and say, “You’ve been doing great, making good choices. I’m going to ease the restriction in this area because I think you can handle it now.”

It's Summertime!

Well Kyrsten has been out of school a hole week and I have to admit, so far it is really fun having her home! I may speak differently in a month or so, we will see..haha! It is so cool getting to see her grow up (she turned 7 last week). For her birthday we decided to get her an mp3 player. We were wanting to stay cheap, but wal-mart didn't have the one we wanted in store so we had to upgrade a little and get her an iPod Shuffle...of course Pink what else would she want! She loves it! On top of that we picked up a new iMac for the house. I setup a username for her on the computer so she can log in and go on some kid websites they use at her school and play learning games. She thinks it is so cool that she can go onto the computer and open iTunes listen to music and play games all at the same time. I love the age she is getting to, an age where we can really begin to teach her responsibility and how to take care of stuff. That is one of the things I always remember my parents teaching me..."if you want to have nice stuff you have to take good care of it" I want to teach Kyrsten that as well at this young age. Oh and please pray for me...June is a killer...all of our kids and Meg have birthdays this month! One down...3 to go!

Finally...

Well I am glad that this past week is over!  Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a bad week, just a real busy one!  I had to get the Kid's Christmas Production video edited and burned on DVDs as well as edit a video that we shot a couple of weeks ago.  We asked several kids some questions about Christmas, it was pretty funny, I will have to post it.  I also shot and edited a video promo for our Youth Convention Gift Certificates.

This afternoon, we have just sat around the house (mainly because it is SO cold outside) and watched Dirty Jobs, John & Kate plus 8 and A Very Muppet Christmas movie.  Just some great family time!  Tomorrow Meg and I are going shopping...I guess it is time to get our shopping done.

Then Tuesday, I work for a half a day and then I am going to be off the REST OF THE YEAR!  Looking forward to a great couple of weeks!

The light at the end of the tunnel...

Well, we finally got an email from our Realtor today.  He informed us that our house will go before a bankruptcy judge around the middle of January.  He/she will decide if the houses from Lehman Bros. can be sold...I would imagine the answer would be yes...but you never know.  Anyway at this point, we have to look at all the details and make our decision.

The cool thing is that this past Sunday at our Ignition worship service I was really praying about this whole house thing and really questioning if I had heard from God.  As I was praying, I ask the Lord to just let us know something...just a clue as to what is going on.  A few moments later I really felt like God said, "this week."  Since I had really been questioning if I had heard from God, I really struggled if that was me or if it was God and I kept waiting to see if we would hear anything.

It was so cool for me to get that email!  To give me a confirmation that God really is in control!  That if I will just trust Him and be patient...He has my back!  Will keep you posted!  I guess this means we have to get our tree down and set it up...

That Itchy Feeling...

Have you ever been sitting having a conversation with someone about ants, lice, or any small kind of bug and you begin to itch for no apparent reason?  Isn't that wierd?  Why do we do that?  Well that has been my life for the past two days!

On Monday, we got a call from our friend who is Kyrsten's gymnastics instructor telling us that Kyrsten had lice...yes, you read that right...Lice!  So, we picked her up and started the treatment.  We found a few nits in Kinsey as well as Meg's hair.  All three of them got a treatment, but we think that Kyrsten may have had them for a week or two, because she is infested!  Meg or I have never had them, so we had no idea waht they looked liked.  A week or so ago, when I was in Honduras, Kyrsten was complaining of her head itching and had a rash looking thing on the back of her neck going up into her hair.  Meg saw some stuff, but thought it was dandriff.

The stress level in our house has been out of sight the past couple of days!  We have treated Kyrsten twice and are still finding live ones in her hair...so we called the doctor and he has prescribed a pretty potent prescription that we will try on her tonight and hope that it works.

For the few of you that read this, please keep Meg in your prayers!  She is REALLY struggling with this as well as the whole house situation...I know she is being a trooper, but yesterday when I got home she broke down in tears!  Will keep you posted on the progress...gotta go, my head it itching...

Been Awhile...

Yes, I know...its been awhile...just a few days shy of 2 months...man I think that is a record for me...the longest I have gone without blogging.  If you look below you will see that I left off with "An Eventful Week"...it went from an eventful week to and eventful two months.  Here is a quick rundown:

• We still have not closed on the house that we are trying to buy
• I went to Honduras to build a church
• My head has been spinning with everything I have been taking care of at FMC.

Now I know what you are saying..."that is only three things, whats the big deal?"  Well let me explain a little more.

The house - after my last post and the report that everything was good with the house, everything was going along well...got all the financing, money in place to do some of the updating, picked out our appliances, picked and purchased 25 boxes of 16x16 ceramic tile, had our roofer ready to put on the roof, we even had our closing date moved up to Thursday, November 6th...all sounds great huh?  Then all of a sudden we got an email from the title company saying they couldn't do the closing...the day before (Wednesday)!  All they said was that they didn't have some paperwork regarding the deed.  No big deal right?  They thought they would have it within a week.  A week passed by and still nothing...then we found out...the house is owned by Lehman Brothers...ring a bell?  They filed BANKRUPTCY in September!  So our closing date has come and gone, we have filed a 30 day extension on our contract.  We also had to file and extension on our interest rate for 30 days...that one will cost us $400-500 at closing (oh! the seller wouldn't pay for that...even though it was their fault!)

This has TOTALLY stressed us out...it has really challenged me as well!  Meg and I prayed ALOT about this house...they amount we offered, all the financing, even the negotiation of the roof repair...and everything went EXACTLY as we had prayed...but then all of a sudden, everything came to a screeching halt! I just don't understand...I mean honestly...why?  I have been asking myself this question for weeks!

Did I miss God?  Did I not hear his voice?  I sure thought I did...then what went wrong?  I know that as my Heavenly Father, that Christ wants the best for us, and just as the scripture says, "You who know how to give good gifts, then why wouldn't I give even better ones" (smelcer paraphrase)  Why would God answer all of our prayers up to this point and then seemingly throw the brakes on?  If he didn't or doesn't want us to get this house, why did he allow to get this far?  Can you tell I am struggling with this? 

Anyway, I have given up! (maybe that is what God was waiting for...) I am going to quite emailing my Realtor, my finance guy, the title company...ALL OF THEM!  I AM DONE!  I am going to totally and completely put this into God's hands! I am going to quite trying to make this happen and allow God to work what he needs to work...and if things are together in 30 days then we will take that as a sign that it is not to be...I am not going to lie...I hope it doesn't come to that...it would be an incredible let down!

I would really appreciate your prayers! Meg and I are really looking forward to getting in this house!  What a Christmas gift it would be to our family to get to celebrate Christmas in our new house!

Well, this thing has turned out pretty long...I will share about the trip to Honduras later...maybe tomorrow.  I have a video that I will post as well!  Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!

An Eventful Week...

It was a great week!  My mom flew into town last Monday!  She normally comes to Ohio in the Spring and Fall, but this year she was unable to come up in the spring due to an eye infection that messed with her vision.  This was her first time to see Joel (in person), it was so cool to get to see her walk out of the concourse and hand her her first grandson!

Along with my mom being here, another big event has taken place in Meg and I's life.  As some of you may remember we have been looking at houses on and off for the past year to year and half.  This past Tuesday our offer was accepted on a house we have been waiting to come on the market since the beginning of summer.  It is such a cool experience...we are so excited and yet SO scared at the same time!

We had our home inspection today.  Everything went really well, didn't really find any problems that we were not already aware of.  You may be able to see in the picture that the roof is shot, the shingles are in horrible condition they should have been replaced years ago!  Believe it or not though...the roof does not leak AT ALL.  We could not believe it, neither could the home inspector. 

That is something that could cause the deal to fall through.  We have to work out something with the bank (seller) to allow us to put a new roof on before we close.  The loan we are getting is an FHA loan, and the current roof will not pass their standards to give us a loan.  We meet with our finance guy tomorrow, so we will have to see how it goes.

Please keep us in your prayers, there are a lot of things that possibly stand in our way of getting this house.  We simply want what to make a wise decision!

Present...

As a kid when the teacher would take attendance everyone would say, "here" but if you wanted to be clever (at least we thought so at the time) you would say, "present!"

I know that I have been "absent" from the blogosphere for the last couple of weeks.  With Pastor Tom's transition several things have needed my attention, making for a really full plate and some really long days.

A couple of weeks ago I went the Forum (a Ohio District Pastor's Seminar).  It was so cool to hang out with great friends like Gary Fowler and Konan Stephens.  Both of these guys serve as HUGE inspirations for me.  To see the way they approach ministry, family and life is really something that I strive to emulate!

One of the responsibilities I inherited from Pastor Tom was building maintenance and last Sunday everything hit at once!  One of the AC units that we have had a lot of problems with started malfunctioning AGAIN.  On top of that, we had been planning on remodeling the sanctuary ladies restroom (in one week)!

So I had to give attention and oversight to both of those projects...needless to say, both projects got done by Sunday AM.  Thanks to 15 volunteers and an awesome couple (Roger and Robin) who planned and organized everything!  Without them this would have NEVER of happened!

I have to also thank Steve for stepping in last week and this week to speak in Axiom.  It is truly a relief to have someone that can step in and take the speaking duties over so I can give attention to some other things.  I hate having to speak when I have not been able to prepare like I would like, so I really appreciate Steve helping me out!

Well anyway, now that you are thoroughly bored, I will shut up...I will fill you in later on other things going on in our lives...looking forward to next week when my mom (Grandma Sherri) is coming to visit for a week!

Great Friends!

I really try to live my life without regrets, not that great at it, but I do try!  I realized a huge regret this past week!  Meg told me that good friends of ours where moving to Texas.  Its crazy because Jenny had just graduated high school (I think) when Meg and I arrived at our first position at Harvest Ridge A/G in North Ridgeville, Ohio back in 1999.  Matt was my age and was just coming back to God as he was finishing college.

During our 1 1/2 years there Matt and Jenny both became great friends, they were both in our wedding and we were in theres a few years later.  When we left there and went to Painesville we stayed in contact, but it was very sporadic.  Then we moved to Sandusky and thought.."this will be so cool, we are only 30 minutes away we can get together all the time"...but then life happened, and in 3 years we got together 1 time.  Meg and Jenny got together a few times to have a play dates with the kids, but you could count those on one hand.

When I heard the news about Matt and Jenny I began to think about all the cool times we had together...the concussion I gave him on a trampoline and being scared I was going to get fired or hurt...his dad was a board member!  The cool conversations we had about our walks with God and the struggles we had trying to be all God wanted us to be.  Matt is and will always be a true friend!  He is one of those people that no matter how long you have been separated as soon as you sit down with each other it is like you haven't been apart at all!

I have been blessed to have someone like Matt at every church I have been at; Matt at Harvest Ridge and JT Martino at Painesville.  I haven't found that kind of person yet here at Faith Memorial, not to say that there are not great people here, its just that I have not clicked with anybody like I have with these guys...yet!

I told Matt at his going away party on Sunday that I really regretted us getting together more often, but as soon as him and Jenny get setttled in Houston and buy a big house..hahaha...(inside joke).  That you will be reading about Meg and I getting away to go visit some of the best friends we have EVER had!!

Love ya Matt and Jenny!  Good luck with the new job and we will see you soon!!